Making sense and connecting the dots of how our past relates and manifests in the present life is a relevant part of therapy. We all want to feel that what we are and what we do makes sense. And yet, the real integration requires more than putting all the pieces of the puzzle in a nice complete picture. We need to experience and feel that which has been disowned, supressed and denied in order to be whole again. We cannot selectively remove certain feelings or memories without distorting the rest of our experiential reality. You might be thinking that it sounds abstract, lacking practical direction or maybe it seems unattainable.
Well, the truth is that we all struggle to see what is behind our blind spots. That’s the whole idea. The blind spot requires a new perspective, a different angle a shift in our positioning ourselves. Therapy, from my point of view, offers exactly that. You come to see me share your reality and your take on it. Through exploration we help you see clearly what your take on life is and how that might contribute to the experiences you are living. I guide you through this process towards increased awareness of how you do what you do. This deepened sense of how things are often leads to an experience of widening of your perspective. It lets you see/feel what previously was behind the blind spot.
For therapy to work you need to be willing to experience things rather than just make sense of them. Therefore, I will invite you to pay attention to your physical being while we speak, we will pay attention to our breathing and nonverbal signals from the body. I invite you to trust what is spontaneously unfolding through our dialoguing. You may think, ‘what’s the point I just need to fix this or that’. Well, the point is that when you practise in the sessions being present and paying attention to all that is within you, you are then able to do the same in other parts of your life. Meaning, you face life from an updated and integrated You. You make decisions that are authentic and take into account your needs in the present as well as acknowledging the impact on others. Many people think they would struggle with this as they don’t believe they are good at feeling their feelings, sensing their bodies and that they lack the vocabulary for any of this. Well, unfortunately no one was taught this at school, and few had this modelled in their family homes. The whole point of coming to therapy is to get to know yourself and to learn how to relate to the world from this place of familiarity with your alive sense of being – rather than from the place of limited image of yourself created many years ago when you just absorbed the beliefs, attitudes and even emotional vibrations from the world that surrounded you.